New Years!

So I thought I'd write a bit about my 2010 resolution and what I did to actually achieve that resolution.

On December 31, 2009 I lost my grandpa to cancer. It wasn't sudden but was rapid, and every time I visited home from college, he seemed quite a bit sicker. I think I was sheltered from a lot of it because I lived 5 1/2 hours from home at college. During this same time my long time roommate and I had a major falling out. I moved out into my own apartment right before leaving for home for Winter break. Summer 2009 I had to have surgery on my spine and therefore was stressed financially from the lack of summer work, and my most valuable horse, and one of the sweetest, broke her coffin bone and was down for the count for 10-12 months. All of this happened within a 6 month period of time. This is the watered down version to say the least. By the time we rang in the new year, my grandpa had been gone for several hours and we ignored the fact any holiday was taking place. I had to drive myself back to school early New Years morning, back into a world I wasn't ready to face. I had a long drive by myself to think about the past 6 months and how wrong my life felt. I know that in most cases you can change your frame of mind and turn a frown, upside down, so to speak. Over the next 10 weeks (Winter term) I dealt with my fear of running into my old roommate, and having to deal with the rush of emotion from the "bad break up" and realized that my major was in the right department, but the wrong Office. I waltzed into my 8am monday morning class by 7:30am as always (hate being late) and sat there sipping my tumbler. The class was one taught by an Irish-Bostonian with the accent to prove it, and words that hit to the core every time he spoke. That day happened to be a discussion on Passion (it was a teachers ed class). I walked across the street after the class dismissed and into the "correct" office and changed my major. Period. I didn't dwell or overthink it, just did it. I couldn't have known then, how good that decision really was for me. It meant I got out of school and Corvallis over 1 year sooner. As in June 2010. I still am doing a few finishing courses online but still not THERE. I then decided that I wasn't going to let my negativity rule my life. Things HAD to change. There was no doubt in my mind that something HAD to give or this downhill rollercoaster I called a life was just going to keep gaining speed.

So, I decided that with my newly found freedom I could give a flying F in this world about where my old roomy happened to be or how she was doing and started living my life like I used to. For ME. I went out with friends more often, in situations out of my comfort zone (such as clubbing til all hours of the night). That doesn't mean I drank my guts out either, I still hold that ideal of 1 drink for every 1 1/2 hours and NO mixing alcohols for me. But I still went with them. I had a VERY memorable last 6 months of college (on campus). I also decided that anything I really REALLY wanted to do, I WOULD DO. I would find a way. I live by "If there's a will, there's a way!" I went to 2 concerts I really wanted to go to, ended up standing 10 feet from Dierks Bentley for hours at his concert. Flew to Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee and Kentucky and attended the Reining portion of the World Equestrian Games. Then I almost let my last opportunity slide before remembering my resolution. So in December I found a way to get to Virginia and attended Equine Sports Massage and Canine Massage School!

So, I made my goals in 2010. My goal still stands for 2011, but my new goal is to continue on my personal strength path and get in better shape. This isn't your typical "lose weight" resolution. I have "lost weight" and I have tons more pounds to go but my goal is to get stronger and in better SHAPE. I know when I am failing at this because my back will start to hurt from my spine. When I am using the right muscles and toning the right muscles throughout my body, my back feels as strong as ever. So I want to be able to fit into jeans 2 sizes smaller by next new years, easy goal, and find my will to do whatever I REALLY want to again this year. It is very empowering not letting others or moods control your lifestyle.

My other goal was to ride at an ACTHA ride this year and also show at a low key Reining show on Odessa (Dess). I am already signed up and registered for an ACTHA ride in June, and am looking at the dates for a couple Reining shows in Nampa, Idaho area this summer. I just have to finish her a little bit more before signing up for them.