Unless you've grown up here, you just won't get it...

Go anywhere in Oregon and mention the "Civil War" and you may be surprised of the reaction you receive. You may get someone pumped up, yelling for their team in your face, saying why their so good and how their going to crush the other. You may get someone who looks at you like your nuts for bringing such a thing up in front of so many people, you don't want to start riots do you!? Very few people will actually start chatting about muskets and the south.

The Civil War in Oregon is Nationally known! College football folks ... you are either Orange or Green, don't let people fool you if they say they don't care who wins, as long as it's a good game. Their lying to avoid confrontation!

Tonight was a devastating night. Our team, Orange all the way baby, played like crap. Now most peoples pride wavers when their teams don't play up to par. They are embarrassed even to associate with "their" team. Me? I get really sad when my team doesn't play to the level I have witnessed and come to expect. I get angry, and confused, and hope that whatever the issue is, can be resolved before the next Saturday. Tonight ... tonight was rough. Standford pummeled us. I mean this in every aspect of the word. We just couldn't get a break. They nearly injured our Quarterback, they injured Dockery, about took out Wheaton, and immediately afterward, gave a beating to Quizz ... TWICE, after the play was over! Now I should say that although talented, I am not completely sold on Katz yet. He has a long way to come before he can carry this team the way Canfield could.

My point ... If you want to go on and on about how I should be proud an Oregon team is doing so well nationally, you should know now that I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING CARE ON THIS PLANET! I am a BEAVER! I am PROUD! I wear my colors with pride and am NOT ashamed to proclaim my pride, even after a game like tonight's! I am OSU damn it and nobody is going to change my mind. Good for the Oregon team that is #1 nationally, they play good from what I hear, however, if you think I will sit and watch their games and root for their team just because they have an 'O' on their shirts, you have another thing coming to you. I BLEED ORANGE!

Home Sweet Home?

If your looking for a well thought out post, go elsewhere. This is glimpse inside my head right now.

I just turned 23, and still live with my parents. Now, I didn't always live at home. I moved back home after college. Sometimes it bugs me, being my age and living at home, but when I truly think about it, why would I spend $375 to live in a one bedroom apartment in town, when I could just offer my parents 1/3 - 1/2 of that to live with them, and have the extra money to put away towards buying a home, instead of renting? It makes much more sense, especially until I get my school loans and business start up loans out of the way.


As for jobs? I refuse to "job search" because there is nothing! I am either under qualified (need a masters or more work experience in the area) or OVER qualified (have college experience). I was willing to work for Minimum wage and they still wouldn't hire me! So I quit. Plain and simple. I hate working for other people anyways ... and by hate I do mean LOATH, DESPISE, DREAD, working for someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love having a job and being productive, but not working an hourly wage for someone else, having them tell me when I can go on vacation or for how long. It has never been something I could do. I used to think something was wrong with me, dreading the thought of going on "group" trips (such as EF Tours or Field Trips in school). I mean I even skipped my own Senior class trip with a class I really enjoy the company of! I avoid any group sanctioned trips that I cannot control where I, myself, go. My first fear is that I will have to use the restroom and will have nowhere to use one because of the stupid group! Crazy? Insane? I know I am. My second thought is that I eat in small portions, more frequently throughout the day. If I am on a group trip, I may not be able to do that and will either eat too much at one sitting or get really hungry and then REALLY eat to much! It's a sickness I am telling you!

Anyways, the point I guess is that I have set my entire life around working for myself with no thought to ever doing any different. From the time I was in high school until now I have taken in horses for training, given lessons, built websites and managed them, sold horses for commission, bought tack at yard sales, fixed it up and sold it for more, and many many other things. The only jobs I have held outside of working for myself was at school in Corvallis, and they were temporary jobs (purposely) or for my family! When I went South this October, my biggest stomach knot came from leaving my truck at the hotel in Boise and knowing I wouldn't have my own vehicle (such as a rental) to use at my whim!

My friend texted me one word last night ... "Question." Instead of being my usual smartass self and replying with "Answer" as I normally would, I decided to ask her instead what the question was. She asked that, "if we can afford it, do you want to go on a cruise together next summer?" My first thought was HELL YEAH!! Who wouldn't? But I replied with "If I can afford it, most definitely" So then small talk on cruise ideas and what I need to ask the agents at my moms office etc... but not once did I think ... Crap, if I find a job, I may not be able to go! This is my mindset, I cannot change it!

I have the mindset that if I want to do something bad enough, I find a way to do it. Take the World Equestrian Games for example. I first heard it was going to be near Lexington when I was college visiting there in 2006. 4 years BEFORE the games were to be there. At first I KNEW I was going because I was supposedly going to college there, but I decided to stay at EOU for a while longer. Then I would think about it randomly for the next 3 years. Then I was sitting at my moms back office and pretty much just set my mind on the fact I AM GOING, and planned my financial, and other plans AROUND it. It's what I do, and Who I am.

Now that I have let you into my mind, I just want to thank my good friends for sticking with me for so many years, and putting up with my weird personality.

Winter Wonderland

So this morning I set my alarm for 7am. Although normally this is sleeping in for me, lately I have been a bit lazy and sleeping until 8am, though staying up until 2-3am in the process. So trying to get back in a schedule, even in the holiday season.

I got up and couldn't decide whether to do Pilates or go for a walk. It was calm outside, though everything was frosted over and frozen. I decided to enjoy the beautiful NE Oregon weather and go for a walk. I missed having a frozen nose living in Corvallis, but I grabbed my dog and walked out between the fields. It was refreshing, even though I had headphones stuck in my ears. I reserve the pilates tonight before I head to bed as it warms all my muscles up and I tend to relieve myself of the Charlie Horses I get at nights ever since I had surgery on my back. The nerve is still slowly repairing itself and as of about 7-10 weeks ago I started getting these massive Charlie Horses. It must have repaired itself enough to irritate my muscles down in my left leg. The pilates is supposed to help repair and rebuild the muscles that were damaged during surgery, and strengthen my lower back. The surgeon told me that if I don't lose weight after my surgery, I may need it again in my lifetime. Being overweight didn't cause the first surgery but apparently it can cause a second. So because of this threat (from June 2009) I have been trying to keep active, eat only until I am satisfied (a little full) then put it in the fridge until I am hungry again. I lost just under 50 pounds doing this from October 2008 through October 2009. This all with having surgery and being injured too.

Then things kind of fell apart. My roommate and I had a bad falling out, my grandfather got sick with terminal cancer, Dess got injured (broken coffin bone) and probably a few more things I blocked out. My grandfather passed away December 31st, 2009. This was my last straw. I quit concentrating on listening to my body about cravings (and yes I do actually crave things like salad and oven roasted chicken etc...) and listening to when I am full. Believe it or not, I eat more well rounded now than ever before by just LISTENING to what my body NEEDS. Anyways I gained quite a bit back within the last year. I would gain a little, then maintain, then gain a little, then maintain. I am DONE. I hit a weight I NEVER wanted to see again! It really scared me that I let it get out of control again when it should never have been a challenge to begin with (much to peoples shock). I wish people could realize that losing weight isn't about "dieting" or running your ass off. It's about sitting down, slowing down, and enjoying life. I exercise because I enjoy it, not because I have to. I love how I feel after I get done with a nice walk, or do some "toning" work. But the first 1/2 of the weight I lost was purely me doing things one step at a time, first learning to listen to myself and not beat myself up for wanting a slice of pizza or pasta or those things most people classify as "BAD" for you food. I learned that my body craved it on occasion and that by eating a slice of pizza isn't bad, it's listening. The next day I would crave a caesar salad just as easily. I learned that I really dislike "white" noodles and rice, and really love the flavor of multi-grain or whole wheat noodles or brown rice. I didn't force myself to eat it, I sat down, enjoyed every bite of my meals, and realized what really tasted like shit, and what actually satisfies me. Once I felt I could do that without total concentration, I incorporated walking, playing racquetball with friends, hiking etc... It was so easy, and fun. I wish more people would realize that you don't have to stop "living" a fun life to lose weight, you just have to realize that your body needs all kinds of foods. I like the Harvard Food Pyramid the best. Google it. It doesn't reserve spots for corporations to "buy" like the USDA one.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. I am back in the game, and ready to shed the rest of my weight, for me, for my career choice, and for my passions (riding, training, hiking, biking, etc...).

My goal is to go rock climbing when I shed enough weight to make it safe for my back, and my joints. I have always wanted to Rock Climb and not just spot, so I WILL DO IT!!!

Multnomah Falls

Monday we sent my parents, oldest sister and my dad's mom to Mexico out of Portland, then Krista and I made our way home.

We of course stopped by Barnes and Noble (twice for me), and didn't make it out of Clackamas until 11:30am. We took the historic highway out of Troutdale and stopped at a couple of waterfalls on the way. One was only a little hike down and back but was gorgeous. The second was a bit bigger of a hike, down there, up back, but the falls were BEAUTIFUL!

We ate lunch at the Restaurant at Multnomah Falls. Our waitress was married to someone from La Grande, and had lived there for a little bit before they moved to Portland. Her mother-in-law is a 6th grade teacher at Central. Small World eh?

After lunch we went to hike up the mountain. At first I was only going to go as far as the bridge, but decided that I wasn't going to be a fat person and just see the common area, I wanted to see the top, and from the top. I never regretted that decision, even though it was one hell of a hike. I had to stop and rest about every 20 feet after switchback #2 (after the bridge). Overall there was between 15-20 switchbacks from the very bottom, ranging from small incline to steep. It was about 1 1/4 - 1 1/2 miles. So round trip was between 2 1/2 and 3 miles long.

Very worth it. It is gorgeous and if you have the guts to make the hike, do it!

Oh and we didn't make it home until 8:30pm that night ... It took me 2 hours to get up to the top, and 45 minutes to get back down. The Good news is that my new ankle high hiking shoes from REI are AMAZING! I wore NEW shoes for these hikes and my feet feel great. The rest of my body hurts insanely but my feet feel great!

Falls #1:




Falls #2:



Multnomah Falls:

Birthday Happenings

Friday morning Dad, Mom and I made our way to Corvallis. We made many stops before actually leaving La Grande so morning turned into early afternoon before actually leaving. This included me forgetting my purse in my own truck back home. Thanks Dad who ran back and got it. Friday night we had dinner at Applebee's with Austen and then Austen and I took off and watching the movie "Morning Glory." It's not a highly publicized movie but it was VERY good. I give it an 8/10 and would recommend it if you want a good laugh and a good storyline.

Saturday morning we got up and I met my parents at Starbucks and Noahs Bagels (next door) and then beer run, then walked around campus, met up with Kori and her brother and dad and went to a few tailgate parties with them. The game was very sad. We played terrible, WSU played strong and we lost 14-31. Went to Austens after the game for an after game party, the boys all watched the Oregon game, so close they should have lost, and ate burgers and drank beer. Austen surprised me with a Birthday Cake ... White NOT Chocolate ;) Thank you Austen! Then we ran over to Kori's apartment for some beer pong. The watered down version (water in the cups, take a swig of beer from your own glass/cup instead of drinking out of the play cups). Dad and I won the last round!

This morning we are headed to Portland to do some shopping and I am excited because 1) Olive Garden and 2) Barnes and Nobles !!!!

(I'll add photos soon).

College... Worth it? or not?

I just finished taking what felt like my millionth mid-term in college and got a 72%. Normal people would be saddened by a C- grade, especially considering the hours that went into reading the textbook word for word, and the lecture notes and highlighting and studying. I will not go so far as to say I am thrilled with by a C- grade, but I am content. No tantrums, no self doubt, just content. C is a passing grade, and I am so ready to be done with throwing my money into classes that are ridiculous to say the least. Yes, learning about many different subjects can be inspiring, but in most cases, it just confuses college students on what they want to do with their lives, inspiring them to change their majors to fit their new dreams, only to later realize, they want to go another way or back to the way they were going before. It's a money scheme that is monopolized by government run institutions. I like the term "Electives" as in most degree's you are required to take minimum 12 credits of "Electives." The reason I like this is because it is ENTIRELY up to you what you choose to take. If you are smart you take classes that may not be required for the degree but compliment it in many ways, such as pursuing a minor. (Example: Business Major, Spanish Minor) Instead I have been forced to take classes learning about everything from Selling Crack in South America, learning about drug smuggling from Columbia and other things that just depress me, and don't actually help in my chosen line of work.

In the end I suffered through, paid my dues, and paid my money to be receiving a piece of paper that says I paid my dues and my money in March 2011. I don't regret getting a "degree", oh and 2 minors, but I will NEVER go through that again. Especially where I feel less than qualified for any job I am "supposedly" qualified for. Or I am "overqualified" and therefore they hire someone with no background instead.

This is my ramblings on the why behind my choice of going into the "Trade" route of life. By being certified in the Equine and Canine Massage "Trade" I am in charge of my own future. Same with the Equine Appraisal "Trade."

Enough posting about the depression that goes with college institutions. Besides almost getting run over by a bike this morning from someone who slept in too late and was late to class, so failed to notice the Pedestrian in the middle of the sidewalk., my weekend will now be full of fun. Birthday Dinner with Friends and Family tonight at my favorite restaurant in Corvallis, Ruby Tuesdays, and then tomorrow morning spending time with fellow Beaver fanatics at a tailgate party until the game. Then a few hours spent making my throat raspy from cheering the home team on, and then an After game party with some other friends. Then off to Portland from there to spend Sunday with Family getting ready to send all by Krista and I off to Mexico, where the two of us will then retreat back to La Grande for a week of privacy. Ready for the busy, yet fun expected weekend.

And So It Begins...

So, I decided to avert a portion of my loan to a different source with a lower interest rate, so take that Dad! That being said, it still needs paid off.

I realized I had more money saved than I thought I did after Uncle Sam cashed my student loan check. This made my weekend a bit brighter.

I gave 4 lessons this weekend. One of these was a new student. I LOVE this girl. She is reserved yet very sweet and VERY focused on learning. She did everything I asked of her with her intent of doing it right. As an instructor this is your dream student. She also only had to be told something once and would remember it. One of my long time students was opposite this particular weekend. I never quite know who I will get when she comes. Sometimes she is focused and ready to learn, other times she is really hyper and hard to get focused, and other times is really tired and a little crabby. This time she happened to be in fairytale land for the first 45 minutes of her lesson (and I do mean some other planet) and then I finally snapped her out of her "out of mind experience" only to be greeted with a crabby 8 year old child for the remaining 15 minutes. Go figure!

Oh well, overall my lessons went very well and I feel like my students walked away with some very achievable goals to work on if the weather cooperates for the next 2 weeks for them.

Friday my Dad, Mom and I are leaving for Corvallis. We are watching the OSU/WSU football game, which happens to be on my birthday, and then maybe going out for dinner with them and a group of my friends that night. Then I get to drive home while they fly out to Mexico Monday.

Then my busyness begins. I then have 2 weeks to work and do homework and continue memorizing and learning the dog and horse muscle groups, and then off to Thanksgiving. Then the weekend after Thanksgiving my Mom, Dad and Oldest Sister and I have Club Seat tickets to the Civil War in Corvallis (Dec. 4th). Then Finals week, then off to Virginia for my Massage Course. Then Christmas, New Years, and then FINALLY things will settle back down.

Phew my Fall/Early Winter are going to be busy! But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Welcome to Adulthood :(

So I have 3 separate loans. 1 from the government for school, 1 from my mom, and one from my dad. Lets just say I am very broke right now!

Well Luckily I paid my school loan down to 13,600 (was 15,000 principle and 1,000 interest) so was able to pay a good chunk of that off. Lets just say like most American's I owe a lot of money but luckily not all of the interest rates are too bad (most are 0%).

This sucks. I refuse to buy any books, dvd's, entertainment etc... until I have them nearly or all paid off. I have netflix and can just rent them through there, and the library works great.

So much for the next half decade of my life. :( ESMT school please don't fail me now! (Which is going to put me another 3,000 in debt or so).

Good Feelings!

I received my materials on Saturday for both the Equine portion and the Canine portion of my Massage goals. The Equine portion came with a very in depth DVD of our head instructor/the founder of Equissage, and a binded book. The Canine portion came with a folder of knowledge to learn and a DVD that was very easy to follow.

So far I think my horses appreciate me more than my dog, though my dog is very easy to please. I must say I am a nut when it comes to massaging my dog. I feel like a total fumble finger and can't feel what I think I need to. Luckily, this is why I am doing it Hands-On in December. As for the horses, I think my lesson gelding appreciates me a little more than just a food thrower. I felt confident that I could work from his Atlas to his Scapula without problem and his reactions to the massage were very rewarding. He was very honest where he felt discomfort and after treating those area's he would lick and chew (a good sign) and stretch his neck out and close his eyes half way.

This job is going to be so rewarding in more than just a monetary way. My excitement has NOT dulled in the last week. I have started studying and memorizing the muscles, and by the end of November my goals are to know both the horse and dog muscles (that are directly involved in the massage, so luckily not every little one) and their functions. I also want to have memorized the different ailments that come with different disciplines/breeds.

The weather has been dreary and wet which is not usual for fall. We usually get lots of wind and cold but not usually quite this much rain. Bummer, but good times for some nice Jazz and a nice warm fire.

I finally have more time to read. I love Dan Brown books (Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons etc...) and have his newer book Lost Symbol, but haven't had to time to really read it. Hopefully I can get that read this month. Hopefully!