Winter Wonderland

So this morning I set my alarm for 7am. Although normally this is sleeping in for me, lately I have been a bit lazy and sleeping until 8am, though staying up until 2-3am in the process. So trying to get back in a schedule, even in the holiday season.

I got up and couldn't decide whether to do Pilates or go for a walk. It was calm outside, though everything was frosted over and frozen. I decided to enjoy the beautiful NE Oregon weather and go for a walk. I missed having a frozen nose living in Corvallis, but I grabbed my dog and walked out between the fields. It was refreshing, even though I had headphones stuck in my ears. I reserve the pilates tonight before I head to bed as it warms all my muscles up and I tend to relieve myself of the Charlie Horses I get at nights ever since I had surgery on my back. The nerve is still slowly repairing itself and as of about 7-10 weeks ago I started getting these massive Charlie Horses. It must have repaired itself enough to irritate my muscles down in my left leg. The pilates is supposed to help repair and rebuild the muscles that were damaged during surgery, and strengthen my lower back. The surgeon told me that if I don't lose weight after my surgery, I may need it again in my lifetime. Being overweight didn't cause the first surgery but apparently it can cause a second. So because of this threat (from June 2009) I have been trying to keep active, eat only until I am satisfied (a little full) then put it in the fridge until I am hungry again. I lost just under 50 pounds doing this from October 2008 through October 2009. This all with having surgery and being injured too.

Then things kind of fell apart. My roommate and I had a bad falling out, my grandfather got sick with terminal cancer, Dess got injured (broken coffin bone) and probably a few more things I blocked out. My grandfather passed away December 31st, 2009. This was my last straw. I quit concentrating on listening to my body about cravings (and yes I do actually crave things like salad and oven roasted chicken etc...) and listening to when I am full. Believe it or not, I eat more well rounded now than ever before by just LISTENING to what my body NEEDS. Anyways I gained quite a bit back within the last year. I would gain a little, then maintain, then gain a little, then maintain. I am DONE. I hit a weight I NEVER wanted to see again! It really scared me that I let it get out of control again when it should never have been a challenge to begin with (much to peoples shock). I wish people could realize that losing weight isn't about "dieting" or running your ass off. It's about sitting down, slowing down, and enjoying life. I exercise because I enjoy it, not because I have to. I love how I feel after I get done with a nice walk, or do some "toning" work. But the first 1/2 of the weight I lost was purely me doing things one step at a time, first learning to listen to myself and not beat myself up for wanting a slice of pizza or pasta or those things most people classify as "BAD" for you food. I learned that my body craved it on occasion and that by eating a slice of pizza isn't bad, it's listening. The next day I would crave a caesar salad just as easily. I learned that I really dislike "white" noodles and rice, and really love the flavor of multi-grain or whole wheat noodles or brown rice. I didn't force myself to eat it, I sat down, enjoyed every bite of my meals, and realized what really tasted like shit, and what actually satisfies me. Once I felt I could do that without total concentration, I incorporated walking, playing racquetball with friends, hiking etc... It was so easy, and fun. I wish more people would realize that you don't have to stop "living" a fun life to lose weight, you just have to realize that your body needs all kinds of foods. I like the Harvard Food Pyramid the best. Google it. It doesn't reserve spots for corporations to "buy" like the USDA one.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. I am back in the game, and ready to shed the rest of my weight, for me, for my career choice, and for my passions (riding, training, hiking, biking, etc...).

My goal is to go rock climbing when I shed enough weight to make it safe for my back, and my joints. I have always wanted to Rock Climb and not just spot, so I WILL DO IT!!!