Home Sweet Home?

If your looking for a well thought out post, go elsewhere. This is glimpse inside my head right now.

I just turned 23, and still live with my parents. Now, I didn't always live at home. I moved back home after college. Sometimes it bugs me, being my age and living at home, but when I truly think about it, why would I spend $375 to live in a one bedroom apartment in town, when I could just offer my parents 1/3 - 1/2 of that to live with them, and have the extra money to put away towards buying a home, instead of renting? It makes much more sense, especially until I get my school loans and business start up loans out of the way.


As for jobs? I refuse to "job search" because there is nothing! I am either under qualified (need a masters or more work experience in the area) or OVER qualified (have college experience). I was willing to work for Minimum wage and they still wouldn't hire me! So I quit. Plain and simple. I hate working for other people anyways ... and by hate I do mean LOATH, DESPISE, DREAD, working for someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love having a job and being productive, but not working an hourly wage for someone else, having them tell me when I can go on vacation or for how long. It has never been something I could do. I used to think something was wrong with me, dreading the thought of going on "group" trips (such as EF Tours or Field Trips in school). I mean I even skipped my own Senior class trip with a class I really enjoy the company of! I avoid any group sanctioned trips that I cannot control where I, myself, go. My first fear is that I will have to use the restroom and will have nowhere to use one because of the stupid group! Crazy? Insane? I know I am. My second thought is that I eat in small portions, more frequently throughout the day. If I am on a group trip, I may not be able to do that and will either eat too much at one sitting or get really hungry and then REALLY eat to much! It's a sickness I am telling you!

Anyways, the point I guess is that I have set my entire life around working for myself with no thought to ever doing any different. From the time I was in high school until now I have taken in horses for training, given lessons, built websites and managed them, sold horses for commission, bought tack at yard sales, fixed it up and sold it for more, and many many other things. The only jobs I have held outside of working for myself was at school in Corvallis, and they were temporary jobs (purposely) or for my family! When I went South this October, my biggest stomach knot came from leaving my truck at the hotel in Boise and knowing I wouldn't have my own vehicle (such as a rental) to use at my whim!

My friend texted me one word last night ... "Question." Instead of being my usual smartass self and replying with "Answer" as I normally would, I decided to ask her instead what the question was. She asked that, "if we can afford it, do you want to go on a cruise together next summer?" My first thought was HELL YEAH!! Who wouldn't? But I replied with "If I can afford it, most definitely" So then small talk on cruise ideas and what I need to ask the agents at my moms office etc... but not once did I think ... Crap, if I find a job, I may not be able to go! This is my mindset, I cannot change it!

I have the mindset that if I want to do something bad enough, I find a way to do it. Take the World Equestrian Games for example. I first heard it was going to be near Lexington when I was college visiting there in 2006. 4 years BEFORE the games were to be there. At first I KNEW I was going because I was supposedly going to college there, but I decided to stay at EOU for a while longer. Then I would think about it randomly for the next 3 years. Then I was sitting at my moms back office and pretty much just set my mind on the fact I AM GOING, and planned my financial, and other plans AROUND it. It's what I do, and Who I am.

Now that I have let you into my mind, I just want to thank my good friends for sticking with me for so many years, and putting up with my weird personality.